In the heat of an argument, it’s far easier to say what we don’t want than what we do. Stan Tatkin, the founder of the psychobiological approach to couple therapy, proposes that people are better built for war than love.… Continue reading Here
Heather’s voice raises as she says, “How can you not see it my way? It’s the truth and you know it. You’re just too stubborn to admit it!”
Jason responds, “That’s not what happened at all.… Continue reading Here
Conflict isn’t easy: There’s hurt. There’s misunderstanding. And, at the same time, there are parts of us that are screaming to feel validated and understood. The problem for many of us is we have learned to communicate in a way that actually pushes our partners away from truly understanding us or meeting our needs.… Continue reading Here
Leo Tolstoy’s book Anna Karenina begins, “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” Dr. Gottman’s four decades of research tells a different story.
Following thousands of couples (some for multiple decades), Gottman found that the couples who would eventually divorce were more alike than different.… Continue reading Here
Interviewed by Kyle Benson For The Gottman Relationship Blog
Susan David, Ph.D. is an award-winning psychologist on the faculty of Harvard Medical School and the CEO of Evidence Based Psychology, a boutique business consultancy. Her new book Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life teaches a counterintuitive approach to achieving your true potential, which was heralded by the Harvard Business Review as a groundbreaking idea of the year in 2016.… Continue reading Here
This article was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog.
Have you ever wondered why we get angry? According to psychologist Daniel Goleman, “emotions are, in essence, impulses to act, the instant plans for handling life that evolution has instilled in us.”
A relationship pattern that ends in heartbreak is founded on deception and lack of emotional connection. Deception is birthed from the scar that taught us that revealing our true needs only causes more unpleasant conflict.
When we cut out this part of ourselves, we do so under the belief that maintaining good feelings in the relationship will keep the relationship.… Continue reading Here
Sex can be an uncomfortable topic for couples. Many of us feel embarrassed about our bodies or have been sexually rejected at some point. Not to mention our culture and life experiences which have created feelings of sexual shame, making romantic and intimate sex a scary endeavor to even talk about.… Continue reading Here
What were you made for?
You were made for someone to study you. To read you. To reflect on you. You were made for someone to be attuned to you.
Attunement is the desire and willingness for someone to travel into your inner world to explore who you are and who you are becoming.… Continue reading Here