Conflict Conversation

3 Healthy Steps to Coping with Your Partners Anger

3 Healthy Steps to Coping with Your Partners Anger

anger

This article was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog.

Have you ever wondered why we get angry? According to psychologist Daniel Goleman, “emotions are, in essence, impulses to act, the instant plans for handling life that evolution has instilled in us.”

In his book Emotional Intelligence, Goleman tells us that anger causes blood to flow to our hands, making it easier for us to strike an enemy or hold a weapon.… Continue reading Here

An Always Happy Relationship is a Doomed Relationship

An Always Happy Relationship is a Doomed Relationship

happy

A relationship pattern that ends in heartbreak is founded on deception and lack of emotional connection. Deception is birthed from the scar that taught us that revealing our true needs only causes more unpleasant conflict.

When we cut out this part of ourselves, we do so under the belief that maintaining good feelings in the relationship will keep the relationship.… Continue reading Here

Repairs during Conflict are a Superpower of Emotionally Connected Couples

Repairs during Conflict are a Superpower of Emotionally Connected Couples

Repair

This article was originally published on Verily

When you think about it, every couple in every relationship is set up for failure. It is impossible to be emotionally available to your partner 100 percent of the time. In fact, you will miss most of your partner’s bids for emotional connection out of mindlessness.… Continue reading Here

The 3 Choices of Connection that Make a Relationship Amazing or Lonely

The 3 Choices of Connection that Make a Relationship Amazing or Lonely

“Feed and clothe a human infant but deprive him of emotional contact [and] he will die.” – A General Theory of Love

Matt and Evalin fight about everything under the sun. Evalin tells Matt, “you’re a slob. It’s not hard to pick up your clothes off the floor and put it in the hamper.” Matt responds, “you shouldn’t be talking.… Continue reading Here

4 Common Solvable Problems in Romantic Relationships

4 Common Solvable Problems in Romantic Relationships

This article originally appeared on Verily.

Although every happy relationship is different, every relationship has solvable problems and unsolvable problems. Dr. John Gottman has identified four of the most common solvable relationship conflicts for couples: technology, work stress, money, and housework.… Continue reading Here

The Risky Paradox of Love: The More You Give, The More You Feel

The Risky Paradox of Love: The More You Give, The More You Feel

feel

Love is often perceived as this easy thing that everyone is capable of doing. I find this to be untrue. To love and be loved can create anxiety.

To have the faith that we are lovable and beautiful with our scars, not just temporarily, but permanently in our own heart, is a questionable endeavor for many.… Continue reading Here

The Magic 6 Hours That Makes Love Last (Based on Research)

The Magic 6 Hours That Makes Love Last (Based on Research)

love last

This article was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog. 

All of your relationship problems cannot be solved by reading a book, attending a weekend workshop, or enrolling in couples therapy. With that said, learning what distinguishes happy couples from unhappy ones can change the course of how you and your partner love each other.… Continue reading Here

The One Daily Talk That Will Change Your Relationship

The One Daily Talk That Will Change Your Relationship

Talk

This article was originally published on the Gottman Relationship Blog

When Steven gets home from work, his partner Katie asks him, “How was your day, dear?” Their conversation goes like this.

Steven: At my weekly meeting my manager challenged my knowledge of our products and told the CEO that I am incompetent.… Continue reading Here

The Black Friday of Relationships (& The Thanksgiving Challenge)

thanksgiving

All criticism in a relationship is painful. Complaints that include specific request for change, can make a relationship better. Criticism does not. Inevitably criticism makes the relationship worse. We all know this. Yet, many of us, myself included, are guilty of being critical of our partners.… Continue reading Here

4 Marriage Myths That Ruin Marriages Without Partners Realizing It

4 Marriage Myths That Ruin Marriages Without Partners Realizing It

marriage myths

This article was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog. 

As soon as the engagement ring is slipped on, we are inundated with messages about how our relationship should be. Our friends and family tell us what we should tolerate and what we shouldn’t.… Continue reading Here

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