Mindset

Mindset contains articles relating to psychology, unwarranted thoughts, and ways to be happy.

This Pre-Conflict Warm-up Helps Couples Fight Better

This Pre-Conflict Warm-up Helps Couples Fight Better

pre-conflict

This article was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog

Leo Tolstoy’s book Anna Karenina begins, “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” Dr. Gottman’s four decades of research tells a different story.

Following thousands of couples (some for multiple decades), Gottman found that the couples who would eventually divorce were more alike than different.… Continue reading Here

Do You Bottle Your Emotions? Susan David, Ph.D. Describes How It Hurts Your Relationship

Do You Bottle Your Emotions? Susan David, Ph.D. Describes How It Hurts Your Relationship

emotions

Interviewed by Kyle Benson For  The Gottman Relationship Blog

Susan David, Ph.D. is an award-winning psychologist on the faculty of Harvard Medical School and the CEO of Evidence Based Psychology, a boutique business consultancy. Her new book Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life teaches a counterintuitive approach to achieving your true potential, which was heralded by the Harvard Business Review as a groundbreaking idea of the year in 2016.Continue reading Here

3 Healthy Steps to Coping with Your Partners Anger

3 Healthy Steps to Coping with Your Partners Anger

anger

This article was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog.

Have you ever wondered why we get angry? According to psychologist Daniel Goleman, “emotions are, in essence, impulses to act, the instant plans for handling life that evolution has instilled in us.”

In his book Emotional Intelligence, Goleman tells us that anger causes blood to flow to our hands, making it easier for us to strike an enemy or hold a weapon.… Continue reading Here

The 3 Choices of Connection that Make a Relationship Amazing or Lonely

The 3 Choices of Connection that Make a Relationship Amazing or Lonely

“Feed and clothe a human infant but deprive him of emotional contact [and] he will die.” – A General Theory of Love

Matt and Evalin fight about everything under the sun. Evalin tells Matt, “you’re a slob. It’s not hard to pick up your clothes off the floor and put it in the hamper.” Matt responds, “you shouldn’t be talking.… Continue reading Here

4 Common Solvable Problems in Romantic Relationships

4 Common Solvable Problems in Romantic Relationships

This article originally appeared on Verily.

Although every happy relationship is different, every relationship has solvable problems and unsolvable problems. Dr. John Gottman has identified four of the most common solvable relationship conflicts for couples: technology, work stress, money, and housework.… Continue reading Here

The One Daily Talk That Will Change Your Relationship

The One Daily Talk That Will Change Your Relationship

Talk

This article was originally published on the Gottman Relationship Blog

When Steven gets home from work, his partner Katie asks him, “How was your day, dear?” Their conversation goes like this.

Steven: At my weekly meeting my manager challenged my knowledge of our products and told the CEO that I am incompetent.… Continue reading Here

The Black Friday of Relationships (& The Thanksgiving Challenge)

The Black Friday of Relationships (& The Thanksgiving Challenge)

thanksgiving

All criticism in a relationship is painful. Complaints that include specific request for change, can make a relationship better. Criticism does not. Inevitably criticism makes the relationship worse. We all know this. Yet, many of us, myself included, are guilty of being critical of our partners.… Continue reading Here

4 Marriage Myths That Ruin Marriages Without Partners Realizing It

4 Marriage Myths That Ruin Marriages Without Partners Realizing It

marriage myths

This article was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog. 

As soon as the engagement ring is slipped on, we are inundated with messages about how our relationship should be. Our friends and family tell us what we should tolerate and what we shouldn’t.… Continue reading Here

2 Hidden Ways We Sabotage Intimacy In The Relationship We Want

2 Hidden Ways We Sabotage Intimacy In The Relationship We Want
The strange ways we sabotage intimacy
Credit: Milkos

Do you have a pattern of being attracted to an emotionally unavailable intimate partner who is emotionally protected and difficult to get close with?

Or do you have a history of pushing away the sort of person who is available, caring, and easy to get close with?… Continue reading Here

Emotionally Intelligent Men are Key to a Lasting Relationship

Emotionally Intelligent Men are Key to a Lasting Relationship

Emotionally intelligent men

This article was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog. 

In a long-term study of 130 newlywed couples, Dr. John Gottman discovered that men who allow their wives to influence them have happier marriages and are less likely to divorce.

This critical skill is not limited to heterosexual couples.… Continue reading Here

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