Beliefs

The Black Friday of Relationships (& The Thanksgiving Challenge)

thanksgiving

All criticism in a relationship is painful. Complaints that include specific request for change, can make a relationship better. Criticism does not. Inevitably criticism makes the relationship worse. We all know this. Yet, many of us, myself included, are guilty of being critical of our partners.… Continue reading Here

4 Marriage Myths That Ruin Marriages Without Partners Realizing It

4 Marriage Myths That Ruin Marriages Without Partners Realizing It

marriage myths

This article was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog. 

As soon as the engagement ring is slipped on, we are inundated with messages about how our relationship should be. Our friends and family tell us what we should tolerate and what we shouldn’t.… Continue reading Here

2 Hidden Ways We Sabotage Intimacy In The Relationship We Want

2 Hidden Ways We Sabotage Intimacy In The Relationship We Want
The strange ways we sabotage intimacy
Credit: Milkos

Do you have a pattern of being attracted to an emotionally unavailable intimate partner who is emotionally protected and difficult to get close with?

Or do you have a history of pushing away the sort of person who is available, caring, and easy to get close with?… Continue reading Here

Emotionally Intelligent Men are Key to a Lasting Relationship

Emotionally Intelligent Men are Key to a Lasting Relationship

Emotionally intelligent men

This article was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog. 

In a long-term study of 130 newlywed couples, Dr. John Gottman discovered that men who allow their wives to influence them have happier marriages and are less likely to divorce.

This critical skill is not limited to heterosexual couples.… Continue reading Here

4 Steps to Overcome Gridlock That Harms Relationships

4 Steps to Overcome Gridlock That Harms Relationships

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This article was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog

All couples are bound to have arguments. When they struggle to manage these ongoing disagreements with constructive conflict conversations, the result is what Dr. John Gottman calls “gridlock.”

 

Gridlock is like a Chinese Finger Trap.… Continue reading Here

5 Rules for Having Constructive Relationship Conflict Conversation

5 Rules for Having Constructive Relationship Conflict Conversation

Conflict Conversation

How do you fight with your partner? Do you argue with them over how to love you or criticize them for their flaws?

Conflict conversations  in a relationship are not about the conflict. Most arguments are about nothing more than what the event means to each person in the relationship.… Continue reading Here

3 Betrayals That Ruin Relationships (That Don’t Require Sex)

3 Betrayals That Ruin Relationships (That Don’t Require Sex)

workplace betrayals

This was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog

Infidelity is the betrayal our society focuses on, but it is actually the subtle, unnoticed betrayals that truly ruin relationships. When partners do not choose each other day after day, trust and commitment erode away.… Continue reading Here

4 Powerful Exercises That Make A Toxic Relationship Healthy

4 Powerful Exercises That Make A Toxic Relationship Healthy

reconnecting over their toxic relationship

Love is a dance of connection and disconnection. There are times when you feel compelled by your lover, and other times when you feel the need for alone time.

Some of us need more connection, others need more independence. Sometimes these differences lead to a toxic relationship.… Continue reading Here

The War of Independence In Relationships

The War of Independence In Relationships

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The idea that partners shouldn’t be needy and should be independent creates a lack of security in the relationship.

Kim and Kevin were on the verge of breaking up. Neither of them wanted to end things, but they were exhausted from fighting and blaming each other.… Continue reading Here

The Anxious Lover: Stop Feeling Insecure & Get The Love You Crave

The Anxious Lover: Stop Feeling Insecure & Get The Love You Crave

anxious lover

Why do people manipulate others? Is it because they’re an asshole? Is it because they need to feel powerful?

I manipulated an ex-girlfriend once. Years ago, when I was in a toxic relationship with someone I loved, I lied to get a reaction out of her.… Continue reading Here

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