Relationship Fights

Stop Trying to Fix Your Partner’s Feelings, Connect with Them Instead

Stop Trying to Fix Your Partner’s Feelings, Connect with Them Instead

feelings

One of our deepest needs as humans is to feel understood, and true understanding is not possible without empathy. As psychologist Carl Rogers put it, “When someone really hears you without passing judgment on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels damn good!”

Think back to a time when you were listened to and really felt heard.… Continue reading Here

How to Listen Without Getting Defensive in Relationship Conflict

How to Listen Without Getting Defensive in Relationship Conflict

defensive

Understanding your partner requires the capacity to listen. Really listen. Couples are advised to hear each other’s complaints without feeling attacked, and as great as this sounds, it’s often unrealistic.

When something you said (or didn’t say) hurts your partner’s feelings, there’s a strong impulse to interrupt with, “That wasn’t my intention.… Continue reading Here

4 Marriage Myths That Ruin Marriages Without Partners Realizing It

4 Marriage Myths That Ruin Marriages Without Partners Realizing It

marriage myths

This article was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog. 

As soon as the engagement ring is slipped on, we are inundated with messages about how our relationship should be. Our friends and family tell us what we should tolerate and what we shouldn’t.… Continue reading Here

2 Hidden Ways We Sabotage Intimacy In The Relationship We Want

2 Hidden Ways We Sabotage Intimacy In The Relationship We Want
The strange ways we sabotage intimacy
Credit: Milkos

Do you have a pattern of being attracted to an emotionally unavailable intimate partner who is emotionally protected and difficult to get close with?

Or do you have a history of pushing away the sort of person who is available, caring, and easy to get close with?… Continue reading Here

5 Steps to Fighting Better if Your Relationship is Worth Fighting For

5 Steps to Fighting Better if Your Relationship is Worth Fighting For

fighting

This article was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog

Conflict is inevitable in every relationship. Psychologist Dan Wile says it best in his book After the Honeymoon: “When choosing a long-term partner, you will inevitably be choosing a particular set of unresolvable problems.” However, Dr.… Continue reading Here

4 Steps to Overcome Gridlock That Harms Relationships

4 Steps to Overcome Gridlock That Harms Relationships

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This article was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog

All couples are bound to have arguments. When they struggle to manage these ongoing disagreements with constructive conflict conversations, the result is what Dr. John Gottman calls “gridlock.”

 

Gridlock is like a Chinese Finger Trap.… Continue reading Here

5 Rules for Having Constructive Relationship Conflict Conversation

5 Rules for Having Constructive Relationship Conflict Conversation

Conflict Conversation

How do you fight with your partner? Do you argue with them over how to love you or criticize them for their flaws?

Conflict conversations  in a relationship are not about the conflict. Most arguments are about nothing more than what the event means to each person in the relationship.… Continue reading Here

3 Betrayals That Ruin Relationships (That Don’t Require Sex)

3 Betrayals That Ruin Relationships (That Don’t Require Sex)

workplace betrayals

This was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog

Infidelity is the betrayal our society focuses on, but it is actually the subtle, unnoticed betrayals that truly ruin relationships. When partners do not choose each other day after day, trust and commitment erode away.… Continue reading Here

4 Powerful Exercises That Make A Toxic Relationship Healthy

4 Powerful Exercises That Make A Toxic Relationship Healthy

reconnecting over their toxic relationship

Love is a dance of connection and disconnection. There are times when you feel compelled by your lover, and other times when you feel the need for alone time.

Some of us need more connection, others need more independence. Sometimes these differences lead to a toxic relationship.… Continue reading Here

3 Proven Ways To Reconnect When You’re Disconnected From Your Partner

3 Proven Ways To Reconnect When You’re Disconnected From Your Partner

disconnected relationship

This article was originally published on the Gottman Relationship Blog.

What can you do right now to make your relationship more romantic?

You could get your wife a diamond necklace. Or maybe you could buy her the Mercedes dream car she’s always wanted.… Continue reading Here

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