This article was originally published on Verily
When you think about it, every couple in every relationship is set up for failure. It is impossible to be emotionally available to your partner 100 percent of the time. In fact, you will miss most of your partner’s bids for emotional connection out of mindlessness.… Continue reading Here
“Feed and clothe a human infant but deprive him of emotional contact [and] he will die.” –
A General Theory of Love
Matt and Evalin fight about everything under the sun. Evalin tells Matt, “you’re a slob. It’s not hard to pick up your clothes off the floor and put it in the hamper.” Matt responds, “you shouldn’t be talking.…
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This article originally appeared on
Although every happy relationship is different, every relationship has solvable problems and unsolvable problems. Dr. John Gottman has identified four of the most common solvable relationship conflicts for couples: technology, work stress, money, and housework.… Continue reading Here
All criticism in a relationship is painful. Complaints that include specific request for change, can make a relationship better. Criticism does not. Inevitably criticism makes the relationship worse. We all know this. Yet, many of us, myself included, are guilty of being critical of our partners.… Continue reading Here
Do you have a pattern of being attracted to an emotionally unavailable intimate partner who is emotionally protected and difficult to get close with?
Or do you have a
history of pushing away the sort of person who is available, caring, and easy to get close with?… Continue reading Here
All couples come to experience the raw buttons of their partner. Happy couples understand each other’s imperfections and enduring vulnerabilities, while unhappy couples use these enduring vulnerabilities as fire power in the heat of a battle. Instead of holding hands, they point fingers.… Continue reading Here
Love is a dance of connection and disconnection. There are times when you feel compelled by your lover, and other times when you feel the need for alone time.
Some of us need more connection, others need more independence. Sometimes these differences lead to a
toxic relationship.… Continue reading Here
The idea that partners shouldn’t be needy and should be independent creates a lack of security in the relationship.
Kim and Kevin were on the verge of breaking up. Neither of them wanted to end things, but they were exhausted from
fighting and blaming each other.… Continue reading Here
Why do people manipulate others? Is it because they’re an asshole? Is it because they need to feel powerful?
I manipulated an ex-girlfriend once. Years ago, when I was in a
toxic relationship with someone I loved, I lied to get a reaction out of her.… Continue reading Here
Imagine you’re in an airplane. You’re getting ready to fly to the Caribbean for a romantic getaway when you hear a nervous voice come on over the speaker.
“So we’re about to take off. Just so you know, I’ve never flown a plane before.…
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