Trust

Understanding Must Precede Advice in Relationship Conflict

Understanding Must Precede Advice in Relationship Conflict

understanding

Mike finds his wife’s “explosion” of anger “unbearable.” When she gets angry, he tries to neutralize or fix her feelings. He often tries to problem solve before understanding why Stacey is upset. This makes Stacey feel dumb for experiencing and expressing her innate feelings.… Continue reading Here

Help Your Partner Understand Your Side of the Conflict in 3 Steps

Help Your Partner Understand Your Side of the Conflict in 3 Steps

 

Understand

This article was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog.

Conflict isn’t easy: There’s hurt. There’s misunderstanding. And, at the same time, there are parts of us that are screaming to feel validated and understood. The problem for many of us is we have learned to communicate in a way that actually pushes our partners away from truly understanding us or meeting our needs.… Continue reading Here

An Always Happy Relationship is a Doomed Relationship

An Always Happy Relationship is a Doomed Relationship

happy

A relationship pattern that ends in heartbreak is founded on deception and lack of emotional connection. Deception is birthed from the scar that taught us that revealing our true needs only causes more unpleasant conflict.

When we cut out this part of ourselves, we do so under the belief that maintaining good feelings in the relationship will keep the relationship.… Continue reading Here

The Black Friday of Relationships (& The Thanksgiving Challenge)

The Black Friday of Relationships (& The Thanksgiving Challenge)

thanksgiving

All criticism in a relationship is painful. Complaints that include specific request for change, can make a relationship better. Criticism does not. Inevitably criticism makes the relationship worse. We all know this. Yet, many of us, myself included, are guilty of being critical of our partners.… Continue reading Here

4 Marriage Myths That Ruin Marriages Without Partners Realizing It

4 Marriage Myths That Ruin Marriages Without Partners Realizing It

marriage myths

This article was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog. 

As soon as the engagement ring is slipped on, we are inundated with messages about how our relationship should be. Our friends and family tell us what we should tolerate and what we shouldn’t.… Continue reading Here

2 Hidden Ways We Sabotage Intimacy In The Relationship We Want

2 Hidden Ways We Sabotage Intimacy In The Relationship We Want
The strange ways we sabotage intimacy
Credit: Milkos

Do you have a pattern of being attracted to an emotionally unavailable intimate partner who is emotionally protected and difficult to get close with?

Or do you have a history of pushing away the sort of person who is available, caring, and easy to get close with?… Continue reading Here

Emotionally Intelligent Men are Key to a Lasting Relationship

Emotionally Intelligent Men are Key to a Lasting Relationship

Emotionally intelligent men

This article was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog. 

In a long-term study of 130 newlywed couples, Dr. John Gottman discovered that men who allow their wives to influence them have happier marriages and are less likely to divorce.

This critical skill is not limited to heterosexual couples.… Continue reading Here

4 Steps to Overcome Gridlock That Harms Relationships

4 Steps to Overcome Gridlock That Harms Relationships

man-and-woman-1255336_1920

This article was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog

All couples are bound to have arguments. When they struggle to manage these ongoing disagreements with constructive conflict conversations, the result is what Dr. John Gottman calls “gridlock.”

 

Gridlock is like a Chinese Finger Trap.… Continue reading Here

The Anxious Lover: Stop Feeling Insecure & Get The Love You Crave

The Anxious Lover: Stop Feeling Insecure & Get The Love You Crave

anxious lover

Why do people manipulate others? Is it because they’re an asshole? Is it because they need to feel powerful?

I manipulated an ex-girlfriend once. Years ago, when I was in a toxic relationship with someone I loved, I lied to get a reaction out of her.… Continue reading Here

Page 1 of 212