Conflict isn’t easy: There’s hurt. There’s misunderstanding. And, at the same time, there are parts of us that are screaming to feel validated and understood. The problem for many of us is we have learned to communicate in a way that actually pushes our partners away from truly understanding us or meeting our needs.… Continue reading Here
A relationship pattern that ends in heartbreak is founded on deception and lack of emotional connection. Deception is birthed from the scar that taught us that revealing our true needs only causes more unpleasant conflict.
When we cut out this part of ourselves, we do so under the belief that maintaining good feelings in the relationship will keep the relationship.… Continue reading Here
“Let’s talk about sex baby. Let’s talk about you and me!” – Salt N Pepa
It turns out the most important part of cultivating a healthy sex life is talking about a healthy sex life.… Continue reading Here
All criticism in a relationship is painful. Complaints that include specific request for change, can make a relationship better. Criticism does not. Inevitably criticism makes the relationship worse. We all know this. Yet, many of us, myself included, are guilty of being critical of our partners.… Continue reading Here
As soon as the engagement ring is slipped on, we are inundated with messages about how our relationship should be. Our friends and family tell us what we should tolerate and what we shouldn’t.… Continue reading Here
In a long-term study of 130 newlywed couples, Dr. John Gottman discovered that men who allow their wives to influence them have happier marriages and are less likely to divorce.
This critical skill is not limited to heterosexual couples.… Continue reading Here
All couples are bound to have arguments. When they struggle to manage these ongoing disagreements with constructive conflict conversations, the result is what Dr. John Gottman calls “gridlock.”
Gridlock is like a Chinese Finger Trap.… Continue reading Here