Kyle Benson

Relationships suck sometimes. And sometimes they are mind-blowing amazing. Paradoxically, most of us, including myself, must go through the suckage of rewiring how we love to create the amazing relationship we crave.

I propose that love lasts when couples are intentional, deepen their capacity to be intimate and are committed to each other.

Intentionality: We often fall in love with someone and then forget to stand in love; to willfully create it. Intentionally loving your partner means being willing to cultivate emotional connection and spontaneity. This means prioritizing time together: dates, sex, conflict, and friendship.

“If you do nothing to improve your relationship, but do not do anything bad, your relationship will get worse over time.”

Intimacy: While most of us believe we need to be accepted to be loved, what we fear more is being our whole self in love. Intimacy happens when you stand on your own two feet as a unique person in a close relationship. In order to be deeply intimate, you have to grow and growth is uncomfortable.

“Vulnerability is anything but romantic and yet it creates the deep feeling of being known, which is profoundly powerful and fulfilling.”

Relationship: An unconditional and secure bond formed by two unique individuals who choose to invest deeply in each other. In a healthy relationship, partners value each other more than the discomfort of conflict and personal growth. Often the hard conversations are leveraged to build trust, intimacy, and a deeper understanding of each other.

“Healthy relationships are anything but smooth.”