Month: August 2017

Defensiveness Doesn’t Protect a Relationship

Defensiveness Doesn’t Protect a Relationship

defensiveness
Being defensive blocks connection, compassion, and isolates you from your partner. Instead of focusing on we-ness, a defensive person focuses on me-ness. Defensiveness is one of the most dangerous signs of toxic fighting because it creates never-ending cycles of negativity.… Continue reading Here

Stopping the Pursue-Withdraw Pattern: An Interview with Scott R. Woolley, Ph.D.

Stopping the Pursue-Withdraw Pattern: An Interview with Scott R. Woolley, Ph.D.

pursue-withdrawThe pursue-withdraw pattern is an extremely common cause of divorce. If left unresolved, it will continue into a second marriage and subsequent intimate relationships. As Dr. Gottman explains in Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, “This classical marital impasse is all too common—a wife seeking emotional connection from a withdrawn husband.”

How do couples fall into a pursue-withdraw pattern, and why are men usually the ones that withdraw?… Continue reading Here

Have You Committed to a Contempt-Free Marriage?

Have You Committed to a Contempt-Free Marriage?

Contempt

The absence of delight in your partner creates an emptiness in a marriage that ruins love. According to Dr. Gottman’s research on long-lasting marriages, the number one predictor as to whether a marriage would last was the presence or absence of contempt.… Continue reading Here

The Habit of Criticism is Poisonous to Any Relationship

The Habit of Criticism is Poisonous to Any Relationship

criticism No one wants to stay in a relationship that makes them feel more judged than admired. Yet, it’s too common for couples to see the other person as the problem.

And since the other partner is the problem, the only solution is for them to change…right?… Continue reading Here