All criticism in a relationship is painful. Complaints that include specific request for change, can make a relationship better. Criticism does not. Inevitably criticism makes the relationship worse. We all know this. Yet, many of us, myself included, are guilty of being critical of our partners.… Continue reading Here
As soon as the engagement ring is slipped on, we are inundated with messages about how our relationship should be. Our friends and family tell us what we should tolerate and what we shouldn’t.… Continue reading Here
Conflict is inevitable in every relationship. Psychologist Dan Wile says it best in his book After the Honeymoon: “When choosing a long-term partner, you will inevitably be choosing a particular set of unresolvable problems.” However, Dr.… Continue reading Here
All couples come to experience the raw buttons of their partner. Happy couples understand each other’s imperfections and enduring vulnerabilities, while unhappy couples use these enduring vulnerabilities as fire power in the heat of a battle. Instead of holding hands, they point fingers.… Continue reading Here
In a long-term study of 130 newlywed couples, Dr. John Gottman discovered that men who allow their wives to influence them have happier marriages and are less likely to divorce.
This critical skill is not limited to heterosexual couples.… Continue reading Here
Managing money in marriage can be a challenge. For one thing, money arguments are not about money. They are about our hidden dreams, identities, and core beliefs about what we need to live a rich life.
The path to a rich life is full of detours and myths that can hold couples back from achieving the financial freedom they dream of.… Continue reading Here
All couples are bound to have arguments. When they struggle to manage these ongoing disagreements with constructive conflict conversations, the result is what Dr. John Gottman calls “gridlock.”
Gridlock is like a Chinese Finger Trap.… Continue reading Here
Managing money in marriage can create tension between partners, bankrupting the relationship both financially and emotionally. This is because arguments about money are not about money. Money has a deeper meaning than the dollar value it elicits – it represents security, freedom, and the opportunity to achieve our dreams.… Continue reading Here
Conflict conversations in a relationship are not about the conflict. Most arguments are about nothing more than what the event means to each person in the relationship.… Continue reading Here