Relationship Arguments

Nasty, Neutral, or Nice: What Box Does Your Relationship Live In?

Nasty, Neutral, or Nice: What Box Does Your Relationship Live In?

Neutral Relationship Conflict

In every interaction, every couple falls into one of three boxes: Nasty, Neutral, or Nice.

While many of us, including couples therapist, believe that a couple’s ability to be nice during conflict conversations determines the happiness of the relationship, Dr. Gottman’s research on thousands of couples highlights that happy couples often have far more neutral conversations that are emotionally dull.… Continue reading Here

A Happy Relationship is IMPOSSIBLE Without Trust and Commitment

A Happy Relationship is IMPOSSIBLE Without Trust and Commitment

commitment

Love is like Legos. In each passing moment, we are either building a wall between ourselves and our lover or a bridge into each other’s hearts.

Each Lego is an interaction between romantic partners. The deciding factor of whether we open or protect our hearts is the quality of trust.… Continue reading Here

The Death of Love Isn’t Natural: The 7 Steps to Separation

The Death of Love Isn’t Natural: The 7 Steps to Separation

Separation

“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source, it dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds, it dies of weariness, of witherings, or tarnishings, but never a natural death.” – Anais Nin


Marriages rarely end overnight.… Continue reading Here

Conflict Doesn’t Ruin a Relationship, a Lack of Connection Does

Conflict Doesn’t Ruin a Relationship, a Lack of Connection Does

Connecting over conflict

There is a misconception that conflict is the root of a relationship’s demise. Watching a couple fight, it may seem that way.

Steph: “Our house is always a chaotic mess!”

Julian: “It’s not my fault, I don’t have time to do everything.”

Steph: “You mean the dirty clothes you leave on the floor outside the bathroom?… Continue reading Here

6 Steps to an Effective Time-out That Stops Nasty Conflict

6 Steps to an Effective Time-out That Stops Nasty Conflict

Relationship arguments can escalate quickly. When we are attacking each other, friendliness goes out the window. Since we are feeling threatened, conflict can reach a point of verbal or physical abuse.

One of the best ways to prevent your fights from escalating out of control is to take an effective time-out.… Continue reading Here

Win Relationship Conflict By Letting Your Partner Win Too

Win Relationship Conflict By Letting Your Partner Win Too

creating win-win relationships

Good relationships are built on the belief of what’s good for you is good for me too. Partners realize that the best bet is to work together, rather than against each other.

Meet Jordan and Taylor, a couple in their mid-forties.… Continue reading Here

War or Love: Flaws of The Human Brain in Relationship Conflict

War or Love: Flaws of The Human Brain in Relationship Conflict

Your brain on love

Stan Tatkin, PsyD proposes that the human brain is built for survival first and love second. This means we are wired for war more so than we are wired for love.

Reactive ConversationMature Dialogue
Chris: I get pissed off because you’re never listening to me.
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A Better Me Makes A Better We: An Interview with Ellyn Bader, Ph.D.

A Better Me Makes A Better We: An Interview with Ellyn Bader, Ph.D.

differentiation

Interview Guest: Ellyn Bader, Ph.D., is a co-founder of The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy, which integrates attachment theory and differentiation. Through her work at The Couples Institute, she has specialized in helping couples transform their relationships since 1984.

The idealized relationship where partners are fused at the hip is not a healthy relationship, as it doesn’t allow for the unique differences of each partner.… Continue reading Here