Emotional Connection

Nasty, Neutral, or Nice: What Box Does Your Relationship Live In?

Nasty, Neutral, or Nice: What Box Does Your Relationship Live In?

Neutral Relationship Conflict

In every interaction, every couple falls into one of three boxes: Nasty, Neutral, or Nice.

While many of us, including couples therapist, believe that a couple’s ability to be nice during conflict conversations determines the happiness of the relationship, Dr. Gottman’s research on thousands of couples highlights that happy couples often have far more neutral conversations that are emotionally dull.… Continue reading Here

An Intimate Conversation is Like Traveling the World

An Intimate Conversation is Like Traveling the World

intimate conversation

Every intimate conversation is an adventure into a person’s inner world – their needs, passions, hardships, and unique view of the world.

The problem is many of us, myself included, can be terrible travelers. We don’t listen well, don’t ask questions, and sometimes wander off on our own adventure in our head, abandoning our talking partners.… Continue reading Here

A Happy Relationship is IMPOSSIBLE Without Trust and Commitment

A Happy Relationship is IMPOSSIBLE Without Trust and Commitment

commitment

Love is like Legos. In each passing moment, we are either building a wall between ourselves and our lover or a bridge into each other’s hearts.

Each Lego is an interaction between romantic partners. The deciding factor of whether we open or protect our hearts is the quality of trust.… Continue reading Here

Negative Emotions Offer Opportunities for Connection

Negative Emotions Offer Opportunities for Connection

negative emotions

When I work with couples, it’s not uncommon for one partner to say, “I can’t handle my partner’s anger,” or “Her crying overwhelms me, I don’t know what to do.”

The other partner expresses, “He never listens to me,” or “She never cares about my life.”

The problem here is that an emotionally dismissive response blocks emotional connection, and over time, erodes trust, the foundation of a happy and positive relationship.… Continue reading Here

The Death of Love Isn’t Natural: The 7 Steps to Separation

The Death of Love Isn’t Natural: The 7 Steps to Separation

Separation

“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source, it dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds, it dies of weariness, of witherings, or tarnishings, but never a natural death.” – Anais Nin


Marriages rarely end overnight.… Continue reading Here

6 Steps to an Effective Time-out That Stops Nasty Conflict

6 Steps to an Effective Time-out That Stops Nasty Conflict

Relationship arguments can escalate quickly. When we are attacking each other, friendliness goes out the window. Since we are feeling threatened, conflict can reach a point of verbal or physical abuse.

One of the best ways to prevent your fights from escalating out of control is to take an effective time-out.… Continue reading Here