You Are Only As Insecure As The Relationship You’re In

 

Insecure

When Maddie met Steve, she fell for him quickly. He was an independent and self-reliant business owner. The conversations were interesting and she admired his ambition. She was giddy when she was around him. She finally felt like she had found someone she wanted to be with after so many terrible first and second dates.

But when it came to spending time together, he would send mixed signals. Sometimes he would respond within a few minutes, and other times he’d wait a few days. Maddie would get a knot in her stomach wondering if he truly cared about her.

She found herself checking her phone every few minutes. She struggled to focus on her work without her mind wandering back to him. She was desperate to connect and overwhelmed by the thought that she wasn’t good enough for him.

She began to watch his Facebook, constantly trying to piece together what he was doing and who he was spending time with.

At this point, you might think Maddie is a pathological stalker, but that’s not the case at all. Maddie is a professional woman. She is well-established in her career, has a thriving social circle, and values her health. She’s not suffering from being crazy—but she is suffering from high levels of insecurity brought about by how Steve behaves toward her.

Fast forward a few months. Maddie learns Steve had been sleeping with someone else and had been stringing her along by not committing to a relationship with her. She feels devastated. Like the world has fallen out beneath her feet. She finds herself asking, “What did I do wrong? How could I have prevented this?”

Despite knowing Steve has been sleeping with another woman, Maddie kept hoping he would change. It took her another 10 months for her to finally walk away. She was heartbroken and sick to her stomach for tolerating such terrible treatment.

After taking time for herself, she ended up becoming attracted to another guy who was stable, made time to see her, and openly shared how he felt about her. Fourteen months later, Mike proposed.

insecure

In my seminar called Attract a Lover Who Will Make You feel Important, Loved, and Cared For, I share the research on why romantic partners like Steve make partners like Maddie so insecure, and why Mike was such a great lover.

When Maddie was dating Steve, she felt like she was on a roller coaster. She felt secure and happy for a little while, followed by long periods filled with loneliness, anxiety, and the fear of being abandoned. She could feel her stomach turning upside down, never sure of what was around the corner, and constantly on edge.

If Steve had been reliable and consistent, she would never have acted how she did. But her new relationship is different, Maddie no longer finds herself obsessing about what her partner is doing. Her husband, Mike, makes her feel important, loved, and cared for.

And that’s because Maddie took a different route when she decided to date Mike. If she would have continued chasing after men like Steve, who are emotionally unavailable, she’d likely turn back into her obsessive self.

Does Maddie’s story sound anything like yours?

Well lucky for you, I’ve developed a practical, research-backed framework designed to teach you how to attract healthy romantic partners like Mike who are ready to commit to a relationship, and how to avoid unhealthy relationships with emotionally unavailable partners like Steve.

I’ve used these insights to help hundreds of singles attract the love they want, and now I’ve put all that knowledge into my video seminar: The Attract a Lover Who Makes You Feel Important, Loved, and Cared For Seminar.

This seminar will share proven actions you can take to help you attract and vet romantic partners—so you can have a relationship that makes you feel valued, cherished, and secure.

96% of the seminar attendees rated the seminar as excellent and extremely helpful!

Dating Problems We’re Going to Solve

Every week for the last three years, I have written about building healthy relationships and why bad relationships make us feel miserable.

Here are some of the common problems I have noticed when it comes to attracting someone who will create a secure and happy relationship:

  • “I am attracted to the ‘bad’ partners who are emotionally unavailable and I tend to push away the ‘good’ partners.” Sometimes it feels like Cupid keeps shooting the wrong people for you to fall in love with. You start to wonder if you’re just a victim of a bad relationship picker. Somehow you have to stop trusting a mythical baby and start intentionally avoiding partners who you know won’t make you happy, so you can commit to the partners who will.
  • “I feel like I’m walking on eggshells and am terrified to tell my partner what I need.” You want to be loved for who you are, but when the opportunity comes, you lack the courage and script to say what you need. Even though you know it’s necessary to get your needs met in a relationship for you to be happy, you still have a tendency to get trapped in believing your partner will see you as a burden and abandon you.
  • “I’m always trying to prove to my partner that I’m worth their love.” Eventually you take on a mistaken belief that you must give endlessly to your partner. In the end, you’re stuck in a lopsided relationship with you doing everything and feeling unimportant, afraid of being rejected, and sick of how you can’t let go.

If you’ve felt these struggles, then I know you’ll find this seminar useful.

Click here to learn more.

7 Practical Highlights

Throughout the seminar, I’m going to share practical, real-world examples of how you can attract a romantic partner who is ready to invest in building a healthy relationship with you.

You’ll learn:

  • The three styles of love and how each style is developed. (Hint: Not every style has the same capacity for closeness and intimacy.)
  • The telltale signs of a roller-coaster relationship, and why it’s so miserable
  • The Paradoxes of Attraction
  • The 5 Dating Dilemmas, and the 6 ways to avoid them
  • The 4 Commandments of Vulnerable Communication (with real-life examples)
  • 7 Questions to check your date’s Love Style, and 6 ways to know if their behavior matches what they say
  • How to Vet Your Date with Your Social Circle, and 7 Questions to Ask to find out if they’re a good match for you
  • You are going to learn simple, research-backed ways to attract a healthy relationship and reduce insecurity, unhealthy views of yourself, and finally walk away from emotionally draining relationships.

Get instant access to the seminar here.

With love,

Kyle

Kyle Benson

Kyle Benson is an Intentionally Intimate Relationship coach providing practical, research based tools to build long-lasting relationships. Kyle is best known for his compassion and non-judgemental style and his capacity to seeing the root problem. Download the Intimacy 5 Challenge to learn where you and your partner can improve your emotional connection and build lasting intimacy.
You Are Only As Insecure As The Relationship You’re In